Posted 7 years ago
This is not a drill. I repeat. This is not a drill.
Run do not walk to your bunker for Simon is on the loose and has been spotted in the Chicagoland area.
Yes, he is dressed snazzy and has a babe on his lap, but this is Simon people! You know he is just about to unleash his creepy wrath upon us all.
Take shelter immediately.
I ran out the thrift door when I spotted him and zig zagged to my car. Barely made it out alive.
I am now holed up in the bunker, conserving food and water just waiting out the evil Simon storm.